Questions

Thought this would be fun to answer a bunch of questions about myself to let my beautiful readers get to know me a bit better. Anyone who feels like answering them do it and send me the link so I can read your responses!

Shallow: 

1. Favorite color- pink

2. Height- 166cm

3. Eye color- blue 

4. Hair color- blonde 

5. Age- 19

6. Piercings? 2 on each ear and my belly button 

7. Tattoos? 1 (for now) a small heart on my wrist 

8. Favorite animal/pet- bunny

9. Favorite scent- Marc Jacobs Daisy 

10. What time is it? 12:44am

Wading: 

11. Favorite time of day- evening/sunset

12. First pet- goldfish 

13. Siblings- little sister 

14. First car- white ford laser

15. On a day like today you would...? Lay in the sun

16. The last book you read- my Human Resource Management textbook 

17. The last text message you sent/received- sent to Kieran (can't even share what that said oops) and received from Kieran (would be perfect!!)

18. Are you usually hot or cold- hot. Always hot 

19. Pick one thing to your left, what does it mean to you- it's a pillow 

20. Day or night and why- day because I love the sun and adventure 

Knee Deep: 

21. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? A few hours ago 

22. When was the last time someone told you they loved you- few hours ago 

23. Who is your best friend and how did you meet- Kieran at school and Amber at little athletics 

24. Would you rather love or be loved- love. I love to love 

25. Do you get sick often- not really 

26. Do you live alone or with other people- with my fam

27. When was the last time you saw your family- saw my sister this afternoon and saw my mum on Saturday morning 😐 (it's Tuesday lol)

28. What do you want to achieve in the next year- just be the best I can be at what I'm doing 

29. Do you believe in true love- yes

30. Have you ever been hurt by someone you thought cared about you- yes

To the Waist: 

31. When was the last time you got hurt- today I ran into a bench 

32. Have you ever hurt yourself- yes

33. What was the last fight you had about- moving out 

34. Has anyone told you they hated you- yes lol 

35. Have you seen anyone die- no

36. What would you tell your younger self- don't grow up hating yourself, do your homework, don't give a fuck what people think, you're gonna meet the love of your life at 14 (be warned) and don't let the popular girls make you feel ugly or inadequate because you're going to be better off when you're out of school so it's all going to be okay 

37. Would you skip the bad parts of your life to be successful- absolutely 

38. What do you want to do with the rest of your life- get my career where I want it, stay sassy, get married and be one bad ass wife and mother 

39. Have you left behind/ were you left behind in a friendship- yes but no regrets 

40. What is more important money or love- they're both important, but still love

Neck Deep: 

41. Who would you want to meet again in your life- no idea 

42. Why did you choose your career path- because I love it

43. What is something you regret from your past- giving up too easily 

44. How much time is left at the end of your day- depends how you look at it. Either 23 hours because it's a new day or the day's already over and I should be sleeping 

45. What was your last dream about- moving into my own house and being happy lol 

46. Have you ever hated someone and why- just because asshole

47. Talk about your favorite family member- my mum and sister are my favourites. Annoying, stubborn and a pain in the ass to be around. But, thoughtful, loving and my bestfriends. 

48. What is one thing you want to confess- I can't wait to have my own family even though I always tell everyone I hate kids when they ask me lol

49. Have you ever tried to take away your problems instead of deal with them- yes?

50. Who would you save- yourself or a stranger?- I'm selfish. Everyone would like to believe they're a great person, some sort of hero and believe they would save a stranger. But realistically no. Human instinct says no. I would save myself. If I was like 90 and had lived a long fulfilling life I would save the stranger. Ask me to save someone I love, no problems I genuinely wouldn't hesitate. But not a stranger. Nope. 

Head Under Water: 

51. Have you been in love- I am so yes

52. Talk about someone in your life who has died- my nanna. I loved her. Her stories, her hugs that crushed you and the lipstick smears on your face after she's said hello. The visits to her little place and the traditional Chinese food we ate every Christmas Eve. She was a lovely woman and I miss her very much. 

53. Describe your first love in 5 words- passionate, adventurous, soulmate, crazy, fulfilling 

54. When was the last time you thought you were beautiful- a few weeks ago when I looked good in my clothes, had a killer tan and my make up was amazing. Topping it off I took a great picture lol 

55. Have you ever had to recover after something- yes and damn it's hard 

56. What do you hate about love- it's exhausting sometimes and you can't ever let it not be a priority 

57. Top ten life values- health, happiness, love, honesty, passion, adventure, intelligence, friendship, loyalty and trust 

58. How do you fall asleep- Monday-Friday after a long day of either uni or study and a long night at work I fall asleep with my phone next to me after scrolling social media til I can't keep my eyes open. On weekends I fall asleep next to my love

59. When was the last time you smiled and the last time you cried- smiled: tonight when Kieran texted me he loves me. Cried: uhh probably yesterday morning when I had a sook my cafe was too busy to eat at 

60. What would you give up everything for? I'd give up everything for the three people I care most about in my life (and in no order) mum, sister and boyfriend 😊

Friendship

I can't even explain how important friendship is to me, but I am going to use this blog post and the next 20 minutes of my evening before bed to do the best that I can. 

Today, while working, I had a lot of time to think and basically just reflect upon life. My job obviously doesn't require using my brain (normally I use this time to either a) stress over uni work or b) actually make plans in my head of what I want and what I need to do). But today I gave that a break.

I'm the kind of person who is quite content being alone for a while. There's nothing I love more than reading a good book in bed, watching some TV or even going to the beach by myself (call me weird but I find it relaxing to lay in the sun, go for a swim and drive by myself). It relaxes me and I need my 'me time'. But lately, I have realised that instead of trying to be so independent and alone all the time (don't get me wrong, being independent is a good thing) I need to keep in mind that my friendships are important. And you need those people in your life. 

Quite often I just get into moods and complain that I don't have any good friends but I've realised just how wrong I am. I was just looking in the wrong places and focusing on the wrong people. Too many negative vibes there to last me a lifetime. 

I have (and always will) my bestfriend (and boyfriend) Kieran. But I've come to realise recently just how many other kind, caring and beautiful people I do in fact have in my life. Those people who will text you to check up on you and wish you're having a nice day. The people who do make time to see you and want to do fun things together. The ones who you can talk to about anything and everything and there is never an awkward moment. Some of them may even be reading this post. And if they are I really hope you beautiful souls realise I am talking about you and that I really do appreciate you for being in my life (not matter how little or how long you've been in it). 

Focus on keeping the people who will keep it real with you around. Forget about the people who forget about you. It's what I am trying to do. I hope it works. 

I know I am not alone in having spent too many days and nights alone sad because my 'friends' didn't want to hang out with me. It's been a hard lesson and sometimes it is hard to let go and move on from people who you thought you were going to be friends with forever, but people change. Life changes. 

Positive vibes, love and happiness to all and thank you for reading my post about friendship.

Kristelle xxx

Late Night Musings

This post only needs to be short and sweet. It's just after 12:30am, I'm getting up in about 7 hours to start my day and I need to share what's going on in my brain before I can sleep. 

1. It's been a year. It was hell but I've done it. I'm here, I survived through it all. I think I'm even happy now? The world didn't end. The sun still rises and sets. All is okay. And I am thankful to the only person I can ever rely on. You know who you are. 

2. Tomorrow is a new day. Workout, make my lunch, keep eating right and head to uni. Study, learn, make friends and succeed. That's what it's all about. 

3. There are places I haven't seen and new opportunities everyday and I need to remember to make the most of it. 

4. Remember I don't have to do my make up for uni and gym clothes are acceptable. Be comfy in the 35 degree Autumn (yeah right it's Autumn- kidding its Sydney, it's crazy all the time) weather and take my laptop charger (I will need it despite me saying I'll just turn my brightness down).

5. Not every friend is worth my time and effort and it's okay to let go and not talk to them anymore. There will be other people who are worth the effort I come accross in life. Stick to putting in the effort with those who already matter. 

6. Nothing good comes out of holding on to anger. A grudge against someone isn't worth the energy. Move on, not necessarily forgive or forget- but just let it go and move on. It's really not worth it (I'm the bigger person for it anyway). 

7. Some people are just stupid. Accept it and be smarter. 

Thanks for reading direct from my jumbled, slightly (okay maybe more than slightly) crazy brain. 

Stelle xx

Weekends

I love the weekend as much as anyone else. Not because it means days off uni and days off work (it never usually means days off work) but because in between everything, I get to spend time with the people who mean the most to me. This weekend was no exception of course (except that I didn't have to work at all- yay)

Friday 

Started the day at 6am to get myself up and ready for an exam. It was 39 degrees Celsius on Friday and my exam room didn't have air con... I sat in there for 3 hours and wrote 16 pages in total for 4 essays. This is definately not part of my weekend. But my weekend started early at about 1pm when I had finished my exam and driven to the beach. It was a beautiful day and I'm so happy I got to be out there at my favourite place. 

Typical Friday night fashion I hung out with Kieran and we fell asleep curled up on the lounge together at about 10:30pm. Oh well. 

Saturday

Finally the day Kieran got to do his present I bought for his 18th birthday. The V8 Race Car Driving experience at Wakefield. Again, I woke up at 6am to get everything ready and drive the 2 and a half hours to be there for his 9:30 session. It was nice spending time together on the car trip and he loved driving the V8, he wanted to go again right after he was done. I'm glad he enjoyed it and it made me so happy knowing I gave him something he wanted (without him ever asking for it, becaue I'm a great present giver lol). It was a beautiful day out there and he was definitely the youngest person there to drive. The lady also mistook us for a young married couple, which was funny. 

Afternoon called for a nap after I drove almost 5 hours for him that day :( 

Night time we had plans at my best friends place because she was having a BBQ/ spa and drinks night. I was exhausted but had a wonderful night. Again got told by the family friends mum (do not know how to explain this link) that Kieran and I are basically married (I never know whether people mean it as a compliment or insult, but I take it as a compliment because love him). I ate donuts, I soaked in the spa and I watched my drunken friends run around naked and have to force them to get dressed. It was a fun night. I love them. 

Sunday 

Sleepovers= maccas breaky run. I was the sober, responsible adult who drove and we honestly bought about $70 worth of McDonalds for 7 people. Kieran and I left not long after because he was supposed to go out with a friend and I had to study. 

Of course that didn't happen, it reached 43 degrees Celsius according to my phone today and by 10:30 this morning the heat was already unbearable. We went straight to Kieran's house and went swimming. Chill mornings and then layed around in the cool house watching movies and talking and just hanging out. Even though it was so hot, today was perfect (oh and even though he kept trying to drown me lol). 

The boat is always there with us in the pool. I had a good weekend with my favourite people. But now, I am tired. It's just after 10:40pm and I have an exam tomorrow afternoon (last one!!). It's also my little sisters birthday and we are going to the movies tomorrow night with our bf's to see Mockingjay Pt 1. (finally) and I'm pretty excited. 

Thanks for reading my quick (and probably horrible looking) post (because I'm on my phone about to fall asleep). 

I had to share my happiness with you all! :)

Friendship

If there's anything that I've learnt in my 19 years of life, it's that friendships are important. If anyone else out there is like me, you'll go through phases where you think 'who cares I don't need friends, I'm quite content being alone blah blah blah' but at the end of the day, you do need friends. And you need fabulous ones at that. 

I've struggled a lot over the years (especially in high school) to either make friends or maintain friendships. There's so many reasons why and here are the main ones:

1. I would always choose the wrong people to be friends with. There's clearly plenty of reasons that define the phrase 'choosing the wrong friends' but a main one for me is that some of the people I was friends with on/off throughout high school were just genuinely uncaring, nasty people. 
2. I give people second (and third and fourth and twenty fifth) chances when they don't deserve them. I'm too forgiving. Someone was mean to me or said something nasty that I didn't deserve? I'd forgive them and keep being friends and telling them secrets simply because I'm too forgiving (and naive). I'm not saying there's anything wrong with forgiving people and giving them another chance, but I've learnt I need to be extremely careful with who I give those chances too. Oh and if they make the same 'mistake' twice (spreading lies about you, saying nasty things behind your back), odds are they don't deserve a third chance. 
3. I look for the good in people. Pretty self explanatory but allowed me to overlook the awful qualities that some friends I chose possessed. 
4. Lack of things in common. One thing I've learnt from being out of high school and being an adult, is you can't be friends with someone who you don't have things in common with. Sure you can be superficial friends for a while but you'll get bored with each other and move on pretty fast. 
5. People who don't put the same effort into the friendship as you do aren't worth it. If you're always the one calling, texting or trying to make plans with people who just don't seem interested or never do he same back, forget them. Same goes for in a relationship. You deserve people around you who put 100% into a friendship just the way you do. 
6. You only get back what you give. Same as above it works the other way around. If you can't put effort into a friendship, don't expect them to either. And if the other person is the one always making plans and trying and you don't, you need to either: be a better person and make the effort or gently let the person know you don't think you're compatible friends. 
7. Never choose friends for convenience. It's stupid and it's not real friendship. In high school most people will become friends with each other because they are in the same class, or they saw each other in the playground and want someone to sit with. High school friendships don't often last after you graduate unless you have developed real friendships for reasons other than convenience. Believe me when I left and started my 'new' life I stopped talking to all but (maybe) 10 people. 

I'm lucky that I've found some extremely good friends in my life after high school. It's okay not to have many friends, because I believe the more friends you have, the harder it can be to keep up with them in a realistic world and the friendships can become superficial. I'm still getting to the point where I discover all of the bad friends I have and get rid of them for good like I've done to so many others (see seven reasons above). I want to be able to say you're either my bestfriends or we are acquaintances. It's hard to have a middle ground. Some people won't agree with this but it's MY way of seeing friendships. 

Thanks for reading! 

                                                      

                                  

                                       

                             

                               

                               

P.s there's more pictures I wanted to include but of course I can't find them on my phone when I need them! 

Nineteen

It's been about a month since I wrote last, life has just gotten crazy busy. So let's quickly catch up on all the exciting things that have happened in the last month and what has been going on. 

1. I turned 19!
2. Lifelong dream of seeing Miley Cyrus in concert happened
3. Work work work oh and more work
4. Uni has been kicking butt lately
5. I seem to have become a party girl in between all of that

So that's just a quick summary of the last month of my life. I don't even think the word busy begins to describe how I've been.

My birthday was simple and sweet, I babysat during the day (dislike working on my birthday, but adult life). Then in the evening I went out to my favourite Chinese restaurant with my beautiful family. The waiters sung me happy birthday, gave me free birthday ice-cream, a balloon and chopsticks. Safe to say, birthday's are fun!

first photo as a 19 year old

To celebrate my birthday with some of my best friends, I went clubbing. There was a lot of drama revolving around that night (that I won't get into because it doesn't even matter anymore!) but I went out determined to have a fabulous night (who wouldn't?). The night didn't exactly go according to plan (when does it ever?) but I had a great time regardless and getting home to bed was the best feeling. Day light savings (shout out to NSW here) messed up our body clocks completely, from leaving at 1:30am for the hour and a half journey home, then getting home to bed at 5am???

Always a mission getting to
Kings Cross

so happy I spent the night with my bestfriends

Round three of birthday celebrations continued the following week with just a few drinks at the local leagues club with the remainder of some of my friends who didn't get to come out on the weekend with me. It was a more relaxed night with a bit of drinking and playing the pokies (I actually hate it because I think it is boring). Either way, was a good night once again.

I only like this photo because we look
so happy

Another pretty spectacular thing I got to experience was a ride on a 45 foot yacht with my mum and sister. It was a beautiful day and the views were great. Sydney is such a beautiful place and I was lucky I got to soak up the beautiful sunshine and enjoy the views on the luxury yacht. It would be hard to argue the beauty of Sydney in the picture I got below. 

Photo I got on the yacht of Sydney Harbour Bridge

Miley Cyrus. Do I even need to say anymore? I bought tickets to her Australian Bangerz tour in June (I think) and I had been crazy excited ever since. I lined up with a whole bunch of my friends and some others, from about 7am just to be in the front of the mosh pit. And I am so happy to say that 13 hours of waiting for Miley waited because we were at the front! There was about 10 of us, we all got split up into pairs (I was with my boyfriend) and we all battled for our lives in that mosh pit and I am proud to say I survived and I was so close to Miley I literally started crying (fangirl moment). The concert was the best that I have ever been to and ever since I have been suffering an extreme case of post concert depression.
#mileyfanforlife

Waiting in line with my boyfriend for Miley Cyrus (we both love her)

Best photo I got of Queen Miley riding the giant weiner (because I was so close)

Other things that have happened: more clubbing and a lot of working. A lot. Not sure where all this time comes from, but I feel happy and so alive. I'm grateful for the amazing friends I have and my wonderful family. I have so many opportunities in life (uni, work) and I am proud to say I really am making the most of it all. I'm quickly writing this to share my happiness and fill my readers in on my life in the last month, but now I have a lovely essay to get back to!

Best night in the city last weekend!

Standard couple photo while out clubbing 

Thanks for reading everyone! 

City of Sydney

Hey everyone!

So yesterday I actually left my house to do something other than work, visit my boyfriend or go to the local shopping centres! I visited the city and it was such a beautiful winter day. The sun was shinning and it was lovely out in the sun. I think Winter is my favourite time to visit the city (providing it is a sunny day) because the weather is cool enough for you to enjoy sitting in the sun by the harbour and there's just something about winter sunshine that I love.

One of my friends suggested that we go into the city to the big book store (I'm an obsessed book freak) and I though it was just such a great idea. Along with the book store we also looked in all the shops at clothes that we wish we could buy and ate lunch by the water.

We started the day off by looking in the Victoria's Secret store in the Queen Victoria Building and I was severely disappointed by it's small size and lack of anything being sold there. Times like this I wish I lived in America so I had the luxury (?) of being able to shop at Victoria's Secret. The one in Sydney only sells fragrances, a few bags and a small collection of underwear. I want the bras and most of all I just want their yoga pants and sweaters. One day, is all I have to remind myself, I'll go to America and be able to shop at Victoria's Secret properly. I could buy it all online, but there's no fun in that (for this) to me because I just want to shop in store. 

We went to various other shops during the day including Topshop and Sportsgirl and a lot of others that I can't even remember. So basically right now I am obsessed with those big floppy felt hats (I have no idea what they are actually called) and everywhere we went in the city that day we saw girls wearing them! I'd ordered a black one in the mail two weeks ago and I was still waiting for it to arrive so I was quite disappointed everyone else had one and I didn't :-(

must always awkwardly selfie in shops with good mirrors

After shopping, we made our way to the bookstore. At first I was slightly disappointed because I thought it would be multiple levels, but as we wandered around the store I was less disappointed because I realised it spread out quite far and was large for a bookstore, considering so many I know of have had to shut down due to lack of business now. I enjoy books. If someone gives me a good book and I get into it, I'll sit there all day and read it until I'm done. It doesn't matter how tired I am, I'll read until either
        a) the book is finished
        b) I fall asleep with the book in my hand
But it's probably been a pretty even mixture between the two outcomes when I read. The stand out books that this has happened to me with probably includes:

1. The Harry Potter Series- I read these when I was like 8/9/10 years old (I think) and these are the initial books that sparked my love for reading. I would stay up all night reading and I remember my mum would always have to come into my room and tell me to turn my light off and go to sleep because it was too late to be reading
2. The Hunger Games- I didn't get into these books until after the first movie had come out and I watched the first movie and I decided I had to read the books. After I started I couldn't put them down. I read all three books in three days because I just had to know what happened. 
3. Looking for Alaska- This is probably my favourite John Green book and I couldn't put it down until I knew how the story ended. I probably cried for a while after finishing it too
4. Leaving Paradise- a recent addition to my collection by Simone Elkeles and I fell in love with this book after a chapter. I couldn't put it down all day and by that night (however late it may have been) I was done reading and jumping online to order the next book in the series. 

So as anyone can tell by what I've shared so far, I love books. I will read anything anyone recommends me, but I think my 'type' of book is more "young adult, romance, main character goes through struggle to find themselves". I enjoy these the most. I'm currently reading 'It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini' for anyone who might be interested. I'm nearly finished it and I have enjoyed it. 

In the bookstore we looked at all types of books, from the books that I love, to the business and marketing books (that is what we both study at University together), books on tattoos, fashion, inspiration and motivation and yes even the "relationship" books. I'm not sure why they call the "relationship books" that because they are all about sex. But well I enjoyed the bookstore.


After shopping (a better description is probably a lack of shopping and more window shopping) and the bookstore, we walked down to Darling Harbour and ate Maccas by the water. It was such a beautiful day out there in the winter sunshine, there was no way we were going to eat inside. It was so peaceful (aside from the noise of many other busy city goers and children- due to the school holidays). We got to sit around and talk and eat and admire the beauty of the city. I enjoy the buildings too, not only the harbour and the landmarks. I probably get my love of buildings from my mum as she designs houses for a living.

out by the harbour (me on the right)

Sydney is such a beautiful place

where we ate lunch by the harbour

Overall I would have to say I had such a lovely day out in the city and I'm glad the day was kind to us. It felt like a long train (and bus ride too home for me), but it was worth it.

Thank you all for reading,
♡ Stelle

Outfit of the day
Loose White Knit Jumper from Jeans West- $49.95
Boyfriend Jeans from Dotti- $79.95
Black 'Chunk' Windsor Smith Shoes- $89.95
Oversized Sunglasses from ASOS- $15.95
Pink Tank Top from Valleygirl- $9.95