Life

I've been staring at this blank page for days now. I've written words, sentences, paragraphs only to delete them over and over. Nothing I write can express any emotion I am currently feeling. Nothing I write makes sense.

Life doesn't make sense. 

And because life doesn't make sense right now, I have nothing to write about. 

Frank

Probably one of the best things I have ever bought. I (like many, many other people) follow 

'frank' on Instagram. Basically, frank is a coffee scrub that promises to do wonderful things for your skin. Things that everyone loves. Who doesn't love the feeling of soft skin, reduction in the appearance of scars and stretch marks? I know I love it. Which is why I decided during one joyful day of online shopping that I would try it out (because well everyone else seemed to be raving about it). 

And I must say this is for a good reason. frank is bae. I don't think I have ever used an exfoliator or any products on my skin that left it feeling so perfect. Smooth, soft, however you want to describe it. But I prefer to describe it as 'ahhhhhh wowza'. A little goes a long way and I have used the scrub 3 times on myself (full body), once for just my legs and my boyfriend also used it (full body) and I'm quite sure the bag is still about half full (optimistic view on life right there). 

I have some stretch marks on the sides of my upper legs (right next to my butt) that I am self conscious about. The scrub has helped fade them a little (keep in mind I've only used it a handful of times) but I am going to continue to use it and hopefully it will continue to improve the appearance of them (aka fade away you nasty stretch marks). I am stoked I tried it out. 

I seriously recommend this to anyone who's been thinking about trying it- you honestly wouldn't regret it at all. 

And of course in typical fashion when you use the scrub you must take a selfie with frank and post to Instagram with the hashtags #thefrankeffect #letsbefrank

Thanks for reading
Stelle xx

Champagne and dinner dates

I've started to find that the older I get, the more my tastes have been changing. I enjoy different foods, different drinks, different peoples company, different music and doing different things. My priorities have changed drastically and I am becoming the person I want to be. I feel bad about myself when I sit around wasting an entire day doing nothing when there is so much out there for me to experience or simply because I could be doing so many more useful things (aka working my little butt off). 

From level 13 on the carpark rooftop Manly looks beautiful at sunset (let's face it, it's beautiful anyway)

I remember the days when the most fun I could have was running around outside with my friends, having a sleepover was a big deal and it was super cool if we could go to the shopping centre. Now I'm just old and meet friends for coffee dates in between all of our crazy schedules. Oh and I spend like 95% of my free time at some beach.

Gourmet burgers and fries for dinner

I did have a super cute dinner/crazy adventure with some friends the other night. It started with us aiming for a dinner in Bondi by the water. Somehow (this always happens to me) I took a wrong turn in the city and ended up crossing the Harbour Bridge. Avoiding tolls, I continued driving and decided Manly was a better fit (funny because they are on opposite sides of the city). We ate gourmet burgers for dinner because it was pretty much the only thing we could all decide on between having a 'wanna-be healthy gal' (me), vegetarian (Maddie), 'meat-only-no-salad-what-so-ever guy' (Kieran) and probably the only normal one (Dani). It was a great meal, more talking done by me than eating (but what else is new??) We were sitting on the beach when we decided it was a good time to go clubbing, so we set off home to head for a local place.

We were all disappointed when it was dead on a Saturday night (c'mon people??) I was the designated driver (see here, I am limiting my alcohol #proud) but we all had a good night. Driving my tipsy friends home and having our singing sessions in the car is worth it.

Special occasions I am allowed to drink (I tell myself that anyway- it's okay to celebrate and still be healthy??). My boyfriend's cousin, turned 18 and we celebrated at the country club. This is part of my whole 'getting older having different tastes'. I ate fancy finger foods and drank champagne and white whine. Encouraged the birthday boy to be irresponsible (I am actually a good role model and peer pressure is bad I swear). But we had a good day. Fell asleep super early that night because day drinking + super hot days = instant energy drainer. Once again I am lucky to have such amazing people in my life. 

Thanks for reading
Stelle xx

Paddleboarding

I got to make a real start on my bucket list the other day. I was so keen to go paddle boarding and my boyfriend was excited to try it, so we made a plan to go and spend the day at our favourite beach (aka home), where there is also a lake where we were able to hire the paddle boards and give it a go. We were so lucky the weather was nice to us that day, because I usually find that whenever I have plans to venture outdoors, the weather is horrible.

Kieran takes good photos- me out on the lake

I can honestly say I had more fun than I could have expected paddle boarding. I was a little freaked out at first because I have awful coordination and balance and I had no idea how I would not fall off. My boyfriend teased me about it, but then he fell off (so karma is a b*tch). 

Pulling my bikini bottoms up while he apparently took a photo and went for a sneaky butt grab (just before we jumped for it)

I am so lucky that I live in such a beautiful country and have the opportunity to experience so much. Australia is amazing. I am a water baby. I love the ocean. I would be a mermaid if I could.

My favourite photo from the day. I adore how happy he looks

We paddle boarded, we jumped in the ocean, we watched the fish jump out of the water. I had a strong urge to go fishing (because of all the fish that we saw). I am still in awe over how amazing this day was. The simple things tend to make me happy. I love ducks and I am obsessed with convincing my mum to get me a duckling. So you can all imagine how excited I was when I saw a family of ducks wondering my the water, I even made my boyfriend take a photo of me with them. 

He made me hold his hand so we wouldn't float away from each other again (this was just after he fell off hehe)

Other fun things for this day included the cute cafe lunch, the road trips, the awful singing, the hand holding and laying in the sand. I am so in love with not only Kieran, but with my life. Happiness looks good on me and I feel great.

Thanks for reading my short and sweet post.
Stelle xx

New Year, Not So New Me?

It's almost two weeks into the new year and we all know what that means. For most of us our new years resolution goals have fallen off track and the promises to ourselves to become better people (spiritually, physically, emotionally) whatever the case has probably fallen off track too.

sitting around with my green tea, Kayla Itsines bikini body guides, 2015 planner and my favourite book trying to concentrate and remember
how I wanted to 'better myself' for this year

I am no exception to this. Although I mock and joke about new years resolutions (because they never stick) I found myself unconsciously making them and setting goals which just seem to have already fallen apart. Everyone knows the usual I'm going to get into shape in the new year and start hitting the gym or I'm going to start working harder and saving more money or my personal favourite I will do better in school this year. My new years resolutions/goals included the following:

1. Drink less alcohol
2. Get into better shape and lead a healthier lifestyle
3. Work harder to save more money
4. Look for a new job when uni is starting up for the year
5. Be more adventurous and try to say yes more instead of no
6. Get better grades this uni year

Well I haven't exactly fallen off track with all of them yet, but I think that's mostly because I haven't had the opportunity to mess them up yet face those hurdles yet. But I can give you detailed and specific reasons why I have already 'messed up' several of those goals. 

1. I started 2015 on a holiday. I drank every day. It is the 13th of January and I have had alcohol at least 7 of those days.
2. I want to do this so so badly. I just lack discipline. I haven't been eating well since I got back from holidays because like I spoke about here healthy foods are just so damn expensive
3. Okay I haven't exactly messed this one up, but I haven't been living up to my full potential
4. N/A
5. I'm really trying on this one too. Instead of saying no to something when I'm not bothered or too tired, I have been giving stuff a go. Would I like to go on adventures? Yes. In fact in a few weeks I will be going on one, so stay tuned!
6. N/A

Okay, so I'm not completely off to a horrible start. It is basically just #2 that is making feel like, well #2. I think it's important to remember why you set yourself these goals in the first place (that's another thing, I would prefer to call them goals not resolutions because goals are something you are aiming for and working towards, and resolution is just well, this ). Ask yourself, did I set these goals because I want to achieve them for myself? Will this make me a better person? Will I be happier if I achieve these goals? My answer to all three is definitely yes. 

Next you need to remember that you aren't the only person who ever gets distracted from a goal. You just need to get back in the right frame of mind and jump right back on the horse- so to speak anyway. Remember that these goals are something you want and give yourself time to work towards them instead of giving up right away.

I hope you found this insightful or some advice in this short piece, I know I needed to remind myself that it's okay to mess up towards my goals, as long as I get back into it. I feel one step closer by simply acknowledging "I am not doing all I could or should be towards achieving my goals for 2015".

Thanks for reading

Stelle xx

Being an adult is exhausting

I think my title is pretty self-explanatory, being an adult is exhausting. But today for some reason, after I've woken up from a nap on my couch due to the background noise from watching Man vs Wild (before I fell asleep) I think I am going expand on the phrase "being an adult is exhausting".

My mum and sister have left me for a large chunk of Summer to enjoy the usual holiday by the beach. I, of course, was invited but alas the duties of being an adult stood in my way of having a holiday for more than 5 days (where as they get to enjoy 3 full weeks of it). I have been left to carry out all the mundane adult activities that everyone experiences when they grow up and move out of home. I'll give you a little description of everything I find utterly boring to do, yet for some reason seems to take the life out of me each day.

1. Working- probably the most important thing on this list. Because clearly how can one survive without money? Which essentially we all have to work for in some way or another. Working every single day, switching it up between two jobs (and sometimes both jobs in one day) has left me completely exhausted when I get home from the day of working. It sucks, but everyone does it (sort of) so I'll leave this one here...
2.  Grocery Shopping- I used to enjoy grocery shopping for the family. But I've now come to realise that was only because my mum gave me her credit card, told me to buy whatever was necessary and just try not to spend too much money doing so. Now it's a different story. Feeding myself for over two weeks is a lot harder than it sounds. I have a tight budget and can't enjoy all the luxury foods I love so much (mum you give me an easy life when it comes to food and for that I thank you and I am sorry for every time I have ever complained you cooked something for dinner that I didn't like- which brings me to my next point)
3. Cooking- I enjoy cooking. On occasion. When I have energy. I don't know how my mum comes home from work and sometimes the gym most days and cooks dinner. I have discovered this is literally the last thing I want to do when I come home because I am just so tired. And even worse than this is actually thinking of meals that I can cook myself. Some nights I have had to previously meal prep because I had to work the nigh shift and needed to take dinner with me. This ties in largely with the grocery shopping on a budget and not being able to enjoy the steaks and wonderful stir-frys I otherwise love (because umm hello, vegetables and meat are so expensive????) I have taken mum's advice and eaten everything left in the cupboards and freezer first (yes again mum you were right, there is always food in the house)
4. Doing the washing- ugh. So time consuming, it rains every time I need to wash and I always forget I need clean work shirts until an hour before I want to go to bed the night before (and no I don't have a dryer so it makes life so much harder to get my clothes dry). Folding the washing is more irritating than doing it and I have a mountain to still get through (remains of washed clothes from my holidays I still haven't touched)
5. Doing the dishes- Can. not. stand. I have tried to put literally everything I can in he dishwasher and I will wash up the pots and pans when it is absolutely necessary. Which also means I have been using the bare minimum when it comes to cooking because I just don't want to clean up my mess. 
6. Cleaning the house- why oh why do things have to get so dirty? And who has time for housework? Why do I need to vacuum the floor and dust things and clean the bathrooms? Why can't everything just remain clean without any effort. This is the part of being an adult that I despise the most
7. Not wasting money on everything I want because there are actually necessities- But I wanted to go out for dinner and go bowling, but oops I can't because I have to work or I have to save my money for stuff I would rather not pay for (phone bill anyone??)
8. Lonely- This was something I never expected. It doesn't really tie into the list but I think I needed to mention it. Right now it has been really hard for me and I have bee feeling quite lonely. My go to friends are on holidays (my best friend is even out of the country for 3 weeks) and my boyfriend works in the days like me and when I work both days and nights sometimes I don't speak to anyone (that I want to talk to). I drove to my family's holiday destination last night because I genuinely missed talking to my mum and sister. That surprised me above everything. 

I have come to the conclusion that if I were to live by myself full time I would probably spend all my evenings at home so my mum can cook me food (I am so lazy) and then go hang out with either them or my friends because I need people to speak to. Living with my boyfriend with help me with being lonely but not much else (sorry babe you only take the rubbish out without me asking and unpack the dishwasher when I nag). I am a pretty shitty adult but hey, I am still soldering on. Definitely have a new found respect for how much my mother actually does (okay I already new this, but I am appreciating it more and more everyday.)

Thanks for reading,
Stelle xx

Happy New Years 2015

New YEARS!
Little bit of a backstory here, but long story short, every new years, something goes wrong for me. Whether we go back to 2013 and my car broke, 2012 where we weren't allowed alcohol, 2011 where we weren't allowed to go out... and so on. Some where little things and some ruined the night (mostly). This year I was keen to have a good night with Kieran. We planned on heading into Manly to watch the fireworks, eat ice-cream and have a few drinks before heading home, having a bonfire on the beach, drinking and seeing if we could see the Sydney fireworks from where we were.

The night went something a little more like this:
5pm- I'm tired from drinking all day
6pm- Let's get ready
7pm- Okay let's actually get ready
7:30pm- Let's walk to the bus stop now
7:55pm- Just missed the bus to Manly...
8:25pm- four busses have driven past us now, despite our signalling and them not being full
8:30pm- screw it, taxi it is
8:55pm- arrive at Manly just in time for fireworks
9:20pm- fireworks were pretty I am happy now, lets get a drink
9:30pm- No where good open
9:30pm- Everything closed
9:40pm- Found alcohol and it's way overpriced
9:45pm- Let's get a kebab
9:50pm- Let's go back home and make a fire instead now
10:10pm- Bus drives past us AGAIN
10:25pm- Bus arrives
10:40pm- Bus leaves us 15 min taxi ride from home (which would of taken about 2 hours to walk lol (too many steep hills and alcohol)
11pm- Arrive home
11pm- Don't want to go with friends
11:20pm- Kieran and I sit by the lake cuddling
12am- It's midnight (better kiss)
12am- Crazy people with fireworks on the beach near us
1:30am- Bed time after a huge D&M about life and the future

It wasn't a bad night, I couldn't think of anyone else I would love to bring in the New Years with (Kieran), it was just eventful as usual. But I tried to forget the bad and the annoying and focus on the good things, because it actually was a good night.

Jess and I before Manly

Kieran and I were pretty happy with our New Years Eve supply

ooooooh bad

let's see where the night
takes us

Happy New Year!

Only picture of the Manly Fireworks I got, but they were amazing

The one extreme downside I know a lot of people face after New Years, is the awful hangover! Luckily I hydrate well throughout the night, so I wasn't a victim of the New Years hangover this year. However I did wake up absolutely starving and was desperate for a good meal. So luckily cafes at home are open and Kieran and I treated ourselves to an amazing breakfast. Shoutout to AJ's in Narrabeen, your food is awesome. I had a bacon & egg roll with an iced mocha and Kieran had an 'AJ's break' with a flat white.

Food is life

I live in such a beautiful country

After breakfast we literally spent the entire day on the beach, either laying in the sand, swimming or floating around in the lake. It was the best way I could've asked to spend New Years Day. I am definitely excited to see what 2015 has in store for me.

Thanks for reading, I will post again tomorrow about my Summer so far and will continue this blog for my 2015 adventures. 

Stelle xx

Merry Christmas 2014

Christmas time (basically the whole month of December) is the busiest time of the year for me. Just when I think I am going to be able to relax and enjoy my time off uni, I have to work literally ever single day. I guess that's the beauty of having a summer job at a water theme park AND working in retail. So, it wasn't (and still isn't much of a break for me).

This is my first post of 2015, so christmas is well and truly over now but I would just like to have a little late post about my Christmas & New Years and to wish that all of you had a safe and happy christmas and New Years too xx

The best thing about having so many people I call family is all of the Christmas celebrations I got to have. There was our Christmas Eve Eve (23rd December) where Amber, Kieran, Dani, Matt & I went Christmas light looking and we even saw Santa :-) We drove around the streets singing Christmas Carols for everyone to enjoy (don't think they liked our horrid singing very much, but it was all part of the christmas spirit)

Christmas Eve Eve adventures

The real Christmas Eve, I spend the day working (like the retail slave I am) and then spent the evening with Kieran and my family. I was too excited to give Kieran one of his presents that I made him open one early (I like to give gifts especially when I know the person will love them)

He loves minions, so he got
all this minion related
stuff (loved it)

Christmas Day. I spent the morning with my mum and sister opening each others gifts. They both got me some pretty awesome gifts. I received clothes, money, shoes, handbag and a few other bits and pieces. For christmas lunch this year, I went to spend it with Kieran's family (my boyfriend). In typical Australian fashion it was a swelteringly hot day (at least 35 degrees Celsius) and we had a beautiful lunch, followed by hours of drinking and running through the sprinkler. When it decided to storm that afternoon Kieran and I went back to my place to spend the evening with my Aunty, mum and sister.

only decent photo we got on Christmas Day (notice he doesn't
take the minion bucket hat off once he got it).

Boxing Day, another day for celebrations. I took my sister and boyfriend with me to visit my Nan and Pop because I genuinely don't think I had seen them since last Christmas. We had a good day eating Christmas leftovers and swimming in the pool. That afternoon/evening Kieran and I went to my friend's places to swim some more and then have a 'spa night' at my best friends house. Let's just say it involved drinking (duh), having 11 people squash into a spa (not too fun, it fits 8 comfortably) and pizza! Oh and how could I forgot the awful selfies we all took. It was a fun night and we all crashed in random spots in the house to sleep (I dibs beds all the time first so I get a good sleep haha).

More beers and 'swimming' (note the bucket hat)

Thanks for reading guys, sorry it was so delayed! I will post about New Years in a few minutes!
Stelle xx