Sad

I don't really write much anymore. I don't write about things that are meaningful or all the fun adventures that I have with my beautiful boyfriend. In fact I don't really do much anymore. 

Some days I can't get out of bed. It's not that I don't want to (believe me I want to get out of bed, make a healthy meal and get outside in the sunshine and workout- or just do something), but I can't. I physically can not bring myself to wake up some mornings and get out of bed. I'll make myself think I'm not even hungry so it doesn't matter if I stay in bed until my mum or sister gets home that night. And it's not even that I'm asleep (I do sleep way too much though). Some days I can lay there for over an hour and just stare at the roof or the wall fighting with myself that I need to get up. 

For a change though I go to work. That's my life lately. Working and then staying in bed almost every moment I'm not at work. 

I've lost the ability to find happiness in those small things I wrote about a couple of months ago. I don't write meaningful things, I don't go on fun adventures with my love. I don't really do anything and that makes me really really sad. 

I know things will change and turn around eventually, so it will be okay. 

I'll get to be my happy adventurous self with my partner in crime. Visiting places, eating great foods and taking lots of pictures. But until then I just need to sleep it off. Get this bad place out of my head and shitty moods out of my system. I just need to feel alive again.