Writing

I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. 

This is a creative outlet for me. I wish I was better at this, I really do. I wish I had that magical way with words that sweeps people off their feet. I wish I was talented (at well basically anything will do right now).

I feel pretty ordinary. I know that it's hard to ever be the 'best' at something, but it's just one of those days where I question, "Why can't I be the best at something for once? Why does there always have to be someone better?"

I should probably mention that these thoughts are mostly just coming from the fact that I am 300 words away from completing my 2000 word essay due this Thursday afternoon (it's Monday) but I have also deleted and started over several times because reading over my work I realised it's just not good enough. It's bumming me out that I can never be the best. No matter how hard I try, there is always going to be someone who will get a better mark, be more creative and write a better essay. I also know that someone has to be #1, but I would really like to know what that feels like someday...

Study harder they say, well I'm here as living proof it literally isn't that easy. You either have it or you don't. And sadly most of the time, hard work and dedication can not beat hard work, dedication and natural talent. 

Coming from my computer desk at 11:50pm struggling to keep my eyes open but knowing I am probably going to die if I don't get my 'shit together' (so to speak) and finish this essay without deleting and re-writing whole chunks of it again. 

Thanks for reading this (kind of pointless) mini rant (if that's what we are going to call it).

Kristelle

Instagram: @krristelley

p.s. still sitting here wondering why I can't have some natural talent when it comes to putting words to paper (or more appropriate, words to keyboard)